The fact of the matter is you have a lot more control then you realize to get an ex back after a break up. It's just knowing what to do and not to do to win your ex back. The first thing at the top of your to do list should be find out what exactly happened that caused the breakup in the first place. Yes, it's true you can not rewind the clock on what happened but you better understand whatever mistakes were made, make a mental note of them, then use that later when you get your ex back.

Maybe your break up happened because of one really dumb thing you did or maybe it was some habit you started that your ex could not deal with anymore. Whatever led up to the day of the break up, get the specifics figured out so that it will never ever happen again. Only you and your ex know the answer to what really happened. Once you get that answer nailed down it will give you a strong foundation for getting back with your ex and this time staying together on a long term basis.

Now knowing what caused the break up with your ex, it is time to show them how independent you are as a person. The best way to push someone farther away is to appear clingy. Yes, I know your heart is screaming inside. For the sake of your relationship though you gotta be strong. Of course most people do the opposite and throw their clingy emotions at their ex. They then wonder why they can't get their ex back.

It will take some strong acting ability but you must be able to show your ex you will be fine without them. Even if you don't actually see your ex, others will see you as confident and comfortable with what has happened. The word will almost always get back to your ex that you are handling the break up in stride. This will give you a thousand percent better chance of getting your ex back.

Now what not to do. Trying to get back at your ex or even make them jealous is NOT the way to go. That is the best way to kiss your ex goodbye for good. In fact this will only confirm to your ex that they have done the right thing by breaking up with you. The idea is to let your ex see you as strong, confident and having no problem with your new independence.

So don't play the victim! In no way do you want to give your ex the idea they have done the right thing by breaking up with you. Just the opposite; by knowing why the breakup up occurred and being mentally strong (even if you have to dig down deep and fake it) will leave you with a much better chance to get your ex back.